


Stand Up - The Ending for People who Wanted Happiness

by Jeanisnotawinchester (theanonymousj)



Category: Free!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Feels, M/M, Rated teen for language, Some Fluff, and then this happens, fuck it, have two chapters, i promise chapter 2 will clear some stuff up, i thought it would only be one chapter, idk I haven't actually finished chapter 2, idk what to tag, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-28
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 15:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4227507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theanonymousj/pseuds/Jeanisnotawinchester
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>MakoHaru. Makoto and Kisumi are at med school together. Angsty stuff. Idk, read the tags.</p><p>IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU GO READ STAND UP BY what_would_freckled_jesus_do FIRST, OKAY? OKAY.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Never Gonna Give You Up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [what_would_freckled_jesus_do](https://archiveofourown.org/users/what_would_freckled_jesus_do/gifts).



> Did you... did you see that bit about reading Stand Up by what_would_freckled_jesus_do first? No? Then go read it. Go on. Get outta here. Go read all their stuff. Appreciate real talent. Then come back here and cry over my attempts at re-creating that talent.

The floor was littered in loose sheets of paper, broken folders, and text books. So were the walls. So were the desk, and the bed, and the kitchen counters. Every inch of the shared apartment was covered in a thick layer of revision.  Makoto sank against the front door, one incredibly heavy bag in his lap- the straps on it not long for this world. Fuck. It was nearly Christmas; now was not the time to give students a bunch of tests.

Makoto listened as Kisumi walked straight into the door and fell backwards, unable to open it due to his friend’s considerable weight on the other side. “Move yourself Mako-chan, or so help me I will break this door!” He didn’t want to see Kisumi. Kisumi was pissed off, stressed, and hadn’t slept in two days. Kisumi was hell. There was a heavy kick to the door and the whole wall rattled, some posted notes raining down like the snow outside, “Move already!”

He did. Slowly and reluctantly, he pulled himself off the floor and shuffled across the room to the bean bag, a couple of highlighters digging into his back as he tried to get comfy. Kisumi stormed in, rushed passed him and poured some weird smelling energy drink straight into the kettle. Any other day, Makoto might have groaned about how he would break the kettle if he kept on doing that, but not today. Kisumi came back out of the kitchen and stared down at Makoto, “What is wrong with you Makoto? What the fuck is wrong with you? We’re all stressed, I get that, but what is specifically up with you?” Makoto threw a pillow over his face and ignored his flatmate. Kisumi did not give in.

“For two weeks straight all you’ve done is mope around. It’s horrible. You’re not calm, you’re not freaking out, you’re sleeping too little and then you’re sleeping too much, you don’t pay any attention in class and don’t care when you get answers wrong, you haven’t even tried speaking to anyone but me – actually, you haven’t tried speaking to me either, I just speak to you, or at you!” Kisumi’s voice got a little fainter as he disappeared into the kitchen to add the boiling energy drink to half a mug of coffee granules, to which he then added four table spoons of sugar. “Are you ill? Are you so stressed out about exams you can’t cope? Can’t you just go into a weird mania like the rest of us, nail your exams, and then celebrate Christmas with your family?”

Makoto pulled the pillow away from his face and looked up at Kisumi, “I’m sorry.” Kisumi shook his head and settled in a pile of paper opposite the bean bag, “I’m just stressed and frustrated, Makoto. Please. Talk to me, or Rin, or Nagisa, or anyone. We have exams next week and then you can go home to celebrate Christmas with your family-“Makoto’s breathing hitched, or maybe he even sobbed slightly. “You do want to see your family, right? You haven’t seen them since you started uni…”

Kisumi definitely heard a sob this time, and then another. “Makoto… Are you crying?” The brunet sat up a bit, brushing the highlighters out of his seat, “I fucked up, Kisumi.”

The anger drained out of Kisumi, and he put his drink down, “Tell me what you did and then we can fix it.” “I – I –” Makoto choked on his words, took a deep breath, and tried to start again. “I told him I didn’t want anything from him,” he choked again, “he asked me if I was really going to give up on him and I – I…” He broke down, the words getting caught in his mouth. His thoughts tasted bitter and he gagged.

“He didn’t know I cared, he didn’t know a - a thing about how I felt, he didn’t… he… and the way he looked at Rin – every time – I was there every time – I saw – fuck, I,” he gasped, his whole body taking one long shuddering breath. “Even, even when I asked him – fuck, Kisumi I shouted at him in front of everyone and I shouldn’t have! I should have waited but I… - even when I asked him he still fucking looked at Rin. He still… I just – I wanted him to look at me like he looked at Rin, and I wanted him to turn around one day and tell me he knew that I loved him, and I wanted him to love me.”

Kisumi shifted slightly, letting Makoto take a few steadying breaths. “It’s such a horribly selfish thing to want, Kisumi. I know it’s selfish but I really thought that their might have been a chance, and I lost it with him and I shouldn’t have.  He apologised and I didn’t forgive him. I don’t know if I can forgive him.” Tears started running down his face now, and he bit into his lip to hold back a sob, “his parents are never home for christmas. He stays over in my house. My parents might know that we fought, but the rest of my family doesn’t know. They’ll all be wandering where he is. He lives thirty seconds from my house, Kisumi, and he’ll be spending Christmas all alone. He’ll be alone because of me – and he deserves it because of all the fucking pain he’s caused me, but I – I…”

Makoto cried properly, tears falling into the carpet. His massive shoulders shook with every unsteady breath, and Kisumi counted the minutes that passed. Four; four minutes before he said a word; four before the tiniest voice in the world managed, “I still love him. Fuck Kisumi, I still love him.”

Running an ink-stained hand through his pink hair, Kisumi straightened up and formed his answer, “I assume you’re talking about Haru-chan, in which case, I advise that you forget about him until Christmas.” Makoto blinked at him like he’d said the most stupid thing in the entire world. “Forget about him, then show up at his house and talk to him. Don’t plan what you’re going to say, just do it. I don’t want to hear about Haru again until after Christmas.”


	2. Never Gonna Let You Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which I am tired and Makoharu feels are getting to me

Makoto ran the steps, taking two at a time, the cold seeping into his shoes and coat. He’d wanted to walk, but it was freezing and the snow didn’t seem to be stopping. He elbowed the door bell, not daring to take his already icy hands from his pockets. He waited. Everything seemed very silent, the main town so far below him he couldn’t hear the few people still working on the streets, the ocean so distant he could barely recall the crashing waves. He couldn’t hear a thing from inside Haru’s house – maybe he hadn’t come home for Christmas. Why should he? Nothing would keep him here now.

He fought the urge to simply open the door and walk inside, the way he used to every morning before school, and rang the bell again instead. He stamped his feet, a shiver passing over him – Tokyo had felt so warm by comparison. He didn’t want to do this – or maybe he did. He’d done what Kisumi had told him to; nail the exams, see his family, and now talk to Haru. It wasn’t his fault if Haru-

The door opened. Haru hadn’t changed – the same dark hair that fell into his unmistakable blue eyes, the same purple striped swimming trunks under the same worn apron. His body looked a little different. More muscular, more sculpted; the result of hours more training. He blinked, eyes wandering over Makoto’s form. He didn’t speak.

“Can I come in?”

Haru pulled the door wide open without a second thought, standing back to let Makoto in. He took his coat and gloves for him, hanging them by the door and led them both into the kitchen, signalling for Makoto to take a seat. He did, and watched Haru add another mackerel to the pan. He watched Haru cook, watched how he split the food between two plates and carried them through to the lounge, watched how he waved him through and handed him a pair of chopsticks. They ate the meal in silence. Haru cleared the cutlery away, removed his apron, and sat down again opposite Makoto.

“If you have something to say Makoto, I’d rather you just say it already.”

Makoto swallowed, trying to actually think what he wanted to say, “I’m not here to come crawling back to you, or to beg for your forgiveness.”

Haru stared at him, quite expressionless, “Okay.”

“I still think I had the right to be mad at you, because even though I know you don’t always understand how people feel or pick up on emotions that well, you treated me somewhat unfairly. So, I won’t apologise for how I felt.”

“I should have realised how you felt,” Haru conceded, “and I’m sorry.”

“And I don’t think I’m going to apologise in full for how I lashed out at that practice.  I know that should have waited until we were alone, and I know I embarrassed you in front of our friends. I apologise for that. However, I was feeling particularly hurt and rejected, and I am usually pretty level-headed. Understandably, I reacted the way I did. Maybe that merits an apology, but I’m still feeling pretty bitter about it, so you won’t get one. Not yet, anyway.”

“That’s fine by me,” Makoto noted how Haru’s voice seemed less confident; smaller.

“Uh, all that said, I…” he heard his voice waver and wished it wouldn’t. He blinked back the tears, not daring to look at Haru, “fuck, this is hard.”

“Take your time,” Makoto’s gaze was firmly fixed on the far corner of the ceiling, but he didn’t need to look at Haru to know he was crying, “just say what you need to say.”

He took a moment to compose himself. He wouldn’t break until he’d finished. He wouldn’t. “I said some things, about how I didn’t need anything from you, and you asked me if I had really given up on you. I didn’t really answer that question. I said I had learnt to stand up for myself, but I – I should have said no.”

He heard Haru swallow, hold his breath.

“I don’t want to give up on you. I’ve thought about it, and I don’t – I can’t tell whether that’s the right choice or the wrong choice.”

“Mmm,” he was trying to stay silent, trying to listen to what Makoto had to say.

“I’ve learnt what I need to do for this never to happen again, okay? I just… I just need to know if you have also learnt from this. Before I say anything else – I have to know…”

Haru was nodding, his tears falling unevenly onto his swimming trunks. “Yeah…” he whispered, “Yes, I’ve learnt from this.”

Makoto didn’t respond for a minute, listening to Haru’s quite sobs as the snow piled up outside the window. Was he actually ready for this? Could he walk away now?

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Haru was a little louder now, “Yes, I’m sure… Just – Just tell me what you came here to say.”

“In that case… I… Provided you’re not taken, I would like to try again.”

Haru’s head snapped up, his eyes fixed on Makoto. Makoto didn’t look at him, gaze glued to the falling snow. “Are you serious Makoto?”

He hummed, “Yeah, I’m serious. I – I – don’t know how to say this…” Haru held his breath again. “I still very much love you, Haru-chan.”

The boys were silent for a moment, neither really looking at the other. Makoto suddenly didn’t want to cry. He didn’t want to move or speak or think. Haru stood up and knelt beside Makoto, slowly wrapping his arms around him. He squeezed Makoto’s shoulders, holding him so tight he wasn’t sure he’d be able to let go.

“I’m so sorry Makoto; I’m so fucking sorry. You deserve better than me.”

Haru wept into Makoto’s shoulder, soaking the shirt. Makoto let him.

“I probably do,” he half laughed back, “Kisumi said I did. But dammit Haru-chan, I’m stuck on you.”

“I thought I told you to drop the chan, Makoto,” his words were muffled by the fabric his face was buried in, but Makoto had heard the phrase a thousand times before.

“I love you, Haru.”

“I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it bad to cry at your own writing? Maybe I am just tired and emotional, but I'm crying...
> 
> Thanks again to what_would_freckled_jesus_do, you're awesome and I think I've read everything you have written but your soul eater stuff (because I haven't yet watched soul eater), and you are such an awesome writer just - I can't. You're so awesome. This has been unusual and challenging for me, and I have loved every second. Tempted to write the Soumako ending now...
> 
> And thanks to everyone that reads, kudos, or comments.
> 
> [EDIT]: That soumako ending I just started talking about? I wrote that. If you read Stand Up and decided that you'd rather it end in soumako, then I have an ending for that called Stand Up - The Ending for People who Wanted SouMako.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much what_would_freckled_jesus_do for letting me write this.


End file.
